Khan Part I (Midnight Syn MC Book 1) Read online

  “Nothing happened, Brad. He helped me out when my car broke down a few weeks ago before you got home.” And he laughs, pulling me in tighter.

  “And you fucked him? As a form of a thank you” He asks yelling even louder. Who does he think he is and where the hell is all of this coming from?

  “What?” I’m furious now, how could he even think that in the ten years that we have been married it has never even been an issue, and now all of a sudden. “No, I haven’t fucked him.” The word feels weird in my mouth as I say the word fuck. And Brad laughs out, bringing me in tighter, even after me thinking that he wouldn’t be able to, and he looks down at me.

  “You expect me to believe,” his words are methodical and he lowers his voice into a tone which frightens me, “that this biker, who has a pretty fucking big reputation for fucking every woman whom he meets, want’s to fuck you, helps you out with something, and you didn’t fucked him.” And I laugh finally pulling my wrists free.

  “Yes,” I shout as I put both hands on his chest, pushing him away, “That’s exactly what I expect you to believe, because I’m your wife and I’ve never given you any reason to doubt me,” I walk up to him and push him away once again, this time shoving him out of the door, “I haven’t touched any man like that since before we got together, even when you don’t want to fucking touch me,” I yell the words and slam the door after I shout them into his shocked face, making sure to lock it. I then climb into my bed and lose the battle of trying to sleep. My hands shake for the remainder of the night, and I have to fight the urge of walking out and suffocate him with a pillow while his snores trail back into the bedroom.

  ❖

  The next morning I start to leave the house before Brad wakes up. I’m still furious as I get out of my shower and pat dry my hair. The sun is barely up when I put on makeup, trying my best to conceal the bruise still forming at my eye, and pull up my shorts. When I make it into the kitchen I can see Brad asleep on the couch, I don’t know why he didn’t just sleep in the spare bedroom. I hear his phone buzz on the coffee table and walk over to make it stop when I flip it over I see a slew of text messages, only the one that catches my eye is the one from an Ivy which I can see by the first couple of lines,

  Ivy: I can’t believe you left me in the parking lot, we were supposed to spend the entire weekend together.

  My heart stops for a second. I walk back into my bedroom, pack a bag of clothes, my makeup, and toiletries, and leave my house. But not before leaving a note, underneath Brad’s cell phone that says.

  Ivy, is mad at you, hope you can make it up to her.

  -Billie

  I’m driving through town trying to figure out something, anything to do so I don’t have to go back home. When I pull up into Lucy’s driveway and walk up to the front door. I have a key but I don’t want to just let myself in at this time of day anyway. So, I knock a bunch of times. Until I can hear the tired, cranky steps of Lucy coming to the door.

  I can see her shocked face as she opens the door to me standing on her doorstep with luggage. She gasps a little “Bil,” and for the first time since Brad got home last night, really since Brad got home last month, I break down and start to cry. “Shh, come here.” She opens the door and ushers me into her house and into the living room. She sits me down on the couch. “What happened?” Her words are barely above a whisper and I relay the entire story to her. Not letting one detail out. She looks down at my wrists when I tell her about him grabbing them. And I quickly pull them away. She then looks at my eyes, when I confess that he hit me. She’s angry and gets up walking into the kitchen, coming back with a washcloth, and wiping the makeup away to show the bruise. Crossing my arms making sure to hide the dark bruises on my arms. “Bil, stay here as long as you need. Fuck Brad.” She sighs and smiles at me, “Want me to take you to a lawyer’s office later on today?” And I laugh through my tears, “I’m serious Billie, not only does it sound like he is obviously cheating on you, but he physically hurt you.” I contemplate what she is saying. Two things that I have always said I would never tolerate. I look down at my arms seeing the varying shades of purple on my wrists.

  “I guess that it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to talk to someone,” I say in the smallest voice and she nods her head.

  “We’ll go see him this afternoon” she pats my leg, “until then go get some sleep,” and she picks up my bags and walks with me into the spare bedroom that over the years I have drunkenly passed out in too many times to count. And for the first time since last night, I can fall asleep, quickly after she leaves the room. At some point in the day, she reenters the room and I barely remember the door opening and Lucy walks over to me, “Bil, I’m going to go out for a little bit, I’ll be back in time to take you the lawyers office.” I nod my head, but my eyes close again before she leaves the room. When she comes back she has all of my clothes from my house.

  My phone buzzes throughout the day, but I don’t check it. I don’t even get out of bed. I just lie in it staring at the ceiling or actually sleeping.

  “You have a missed call and a text from Dax.” She says the name confused, but I don’t respond I just roll back over and go back to sleep.

  I fiddle with my hands as Lucy and I drive back from the lawyer's office and she suggests that we stop and get a couple of drinks. I would like a drink or 17 to numb the pain that surges in my heart. “Lucy, you don’t think I’m overreacting about all of this?” I ask her and she shakes her head to let me know that I am not. “I mean we’ve been married for 10 years. I need to try and work it out,” Lucy puts her drink down suddenly and pushes up the sleeve on my shirt to reveal the dark bruises still on my wrist.

  “The fact that you are wearing a long sleeve in the middle of the fucking summer pisses me off.” She swallows and sighs. I know Lucy’s past and know about her ex who was violent towards her. “As soon as they realize that they can and you will come back they will continue to do so, and it will get worse.”

  “I just don’t understand what happened, he has never been violent before. It’s almost like he’s a different person.” I say to her. She pauses as she takes a sip and I’m positive that she rolls her eyes, “What?”

  “He may have not been violent but that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t abusive. He has treated you like shit for years. He has tried to dull your shine. I tried to be okay with it because I thought you were happy and maybe you wanted to change, but deep down I don’t think you really wanted to.” She pauses maybe realizing that maybe it’s too much truth for the moment and then starts again, “Also, he may be on drugs, just be careful, if he is, when he gets the papers Wednesday he’s going to be pissed. Call Dax if you have to,” I try to argue with her about how she’s being ridiculous and when I look at her I roll my eyes knowing that she is only joking about the last part. I sigh as I look down at my phone and I hear her sad voice ask, “Has he tried to get ahold of you?” I just shake my head no and she reaches out to me “Oh, Bil. Don’t cry over him.”

  My attorney texts me Wednesday morning to let me know that Brad got the papers as well as to advise me not to talk to him when he calls. Not if he calls, but when. It surprises me that he hasn’t tried to call me since I left Saturday morning. I turn in my chair at my desk and wonder where did it all go wrong. I try to think about before he left for this deployment, I mean we were okay… but it probably hasn’t been great in a couple of years. I just thought that we were in a slump, but maybe I have just been blind for years. Was Lucy right, that he had been emotionally abusive for years but I was just too blind to see that?

  There’s a knock on my door towards the end of my day, “Ms. Saxs,” I glance at my calendar, double-checking that there isn’t anyone scheduled and then I hear a familiar low voice talking in the lobby. “Okay, Abby, send whoever it is in and then you can go ahead and go home.” She looks at me and smiles, nodding her head. I don’t have anyone else on my calendar but from the flustered look on Abby’s face and the low grumble I hear from ou
tside of my office, I have an idea who is here to see me. What I don’t expect is to see a small, shy girl walk through the door. She doesn’t look up at me and I watch as Dax, as gentle as can be guide her to the chairs that sit in front of my desk. I can’t help but notice the way he guides her is vastly different from the way he did with me, his. I’m so happy that for the first time this week I am handed something that I not only know that I can handle but something I can control.

  “Oh, is this Ella?” She looks up at me and smiles.

  “Sorry,” Dax says, “she’s quiet around new people.”

  “Uncle Dax.” She glares at him and I laugh.

  “It’s okay,” I say to her as I get up and walk around my desk, before remembering to put my heels back on, and lean against my desk in front of her. “Ella, I’m shy around new people as well.” She laughs and looks at me questioning, “I have had to teach myself over years not to let it show as much,” and Dax laughs, “what?” I glare over at him and he puts his hands up as if he has nothing to say. I look back to Ella and hold out my hand, “It’s nice to meet you, Ella, I’m Billie, but I’m going to need you to call me Ms. Saxs when in front of people around here.” I move my hand to show that I mean the school, she smiles at me.

  “Nice to meet you.” Her voice is quiet and she takes my hand and shakes it.

  “Ella, you can come to talk to me if you need anything.” She nods her head. “Also,” I say the word quieter and continue in the same voice, “don’t let the bitches at this school push you around. I like to think that you understand how to stand up for yourself.” She nods her head and I can see Dax looking a little shocked. “Don’t start anything” I tell her, “I can’t protect you if you start it, but if those girls fuck with you, you finish it. You hear me?” I tell her and I see the shocked expression on Dax’s face become even more shocked I’m sure at my use of the word fuck. I give her a hug and I can see Dax’s expression turn worried

  “El, can you give me a minute to talk too, Ms. Saxs,” she nods her head and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.

  “Thank you,” he says quietly next to me.

  “Sounds like she’s had a hard life. I see some of the quiet girls get bullied around and I hate it, but I can’t do anything about it unless they come to me and tell me.” He nods his head as I run my hand through my hair. “Dax, I need to ask you something?” He looks confused but motions for me to go on. “Did you say something to my husband after you guys left on Friday?” I have my hand outstretched with my palms up when his face suddenly changes as he reaches up and grasps my hand pulling it away from me and closer to him.

  ❖

  I thought it was weird when I first walked into her office that she was wearing long sleeves in July. Then I thought I saw a hint of something that looked weird when she was talking to Ella, but when she flipped her wrist like that her sleeve slides down and I saw the purple marks on her wrists and it told me that after she had called me wasn’t the end of her being scared. I was going to ask her about that phone call, but then I saw these and now I’m so fucking angry.

  “Bil,” I hiss out, as I pull her hand to me and slide her sleeve up to her arm. I reach for her other hand and she pulls it away more telling me everything that I need to know… the same marks are on the other arm. “What the fuck” I mutter with my voice growing louder. “Did he fucking do this?” I let my fingers lightly graze over her arm and she winces a little bit. The fact that it’s still this sensitive makes me see red. I can only imagine why this all happened. Had she told him that she had called me? Had that on top of the argument at the club sent him over? Is this my fault?

  “Isn’t violence like a part of your life.” She mutters to me still letting me hold her hand with mine. Her comment almost hurts until I look at her and see the smirk on her face. She’s trying to make a joke out of it, which pisses me off even more because she is amazing. I don’t want to make a joke back because this shit isn’t something to joke about so I keep my voice low, my face serious, and look straight to her.

  “Only to people who deserve it.” I look down at her wrists again and shake my head. “And there’s no way that you deserved this.”

  “How do you know I didn’t deserve it?”

  I smile at her, “Princess, you could never do anything to deserve that.” I raise her wrist up slightly and look at her. I’m sure that my outburst at the club pushed him over the edge to do this. “I’m sorry,” I mutter out

  “Dax, you didn’t do-,” before she can finish her sentence and before I can tell her what it is I’m sorry about.

  The door to her office swings open as a voice says, “Billie, what the fuck is this shit,” her husband yells from the doorway holding up papers that I cannot see from where I sit. I instantly drop her hand. Standing up and I place myself between her and her husband, he’s not going to lay another fucking hand on her, especially while I’m here. “Oh, really, I see this shit” he motions to us sitting near each other, “must have something to do with this shit.” He shakes the papers in his hand again. I have no idea what those papers are in his hands, but after seeing those bruises on her arm he shouldn’t fucking be here. Especially after everyone else has left for the day. He’s staring straight at me. “Damn you couldn’t wait for the ink on the papers to dry before showing up.” He’s pointing at me and I feel shocked, putting all the pieces together finally, but I don’t let anything show on my face. Papers, me showing up, Bil and I didn’t get to finish our conversation but I’m pretty sure she is leaving him. I keep my face stoic as I look at him and he shakes his head. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” But I still don’t say a word, I only keep my face in an expressionless stance. He starts to step forward and I shake my head.

  “You better not be trying to come at her like that and this isn’t the time nor the place to come at me like that,” I mutter to him in a slow calm voice as I step towards him and he stops moving and takes a couple of steps backward. I don’t stop forcing him out with my much larger frame than his until I make it to the office door. So that he is standing outside of the office. “Now, you need to get the fuck out of here, before I forcefully remove you.” Ella sits on the other side of the room, mouth wide open shocked at what just happened. I hate it when she sees this side of me. I don’t want her to ever become afraid of me. I watch as he leaves the room and then glance back to Billie, “Are you getting ready to leave?” She nods her head quickly, “Good, get your stuff together, I’ll walk you to your car.” She nods her head again, eyes filling up with tears. Somehow managing to break my stone, cold heart. Once she packs her bag I hold my hand out for her to hand it to me and she shakes her head.

  “I’ve got it.” I feel like I’m at a breaking point, how is it that this is what pushes me over.

  “Goddamnit,” I mutter to her cutting my eyes and glaring at her, “just let me carry the fucking bag” my voice is quiet but commanding.

  “No,” she glares right back to me. Matching the intensity, “I don’t need you saving me.” She pushes past me and walks out of her office into the lobby. Ella laughs at me as Billie walks in front of us and I shut the door to the main office behind us.

  “You’re going to have your hands full with that one.” I hear Ella laugh at my side and I let my head turn down as I laugh.

  “Shut it,” I mutter to her and she laughs a little bit more.

  “I like her.” She says at my side and I nod my head telling her that I agree with her. “She would be good for you.” I roll my eyes as I look back at her and watch Billie walk out of the door.

  “She’s married.”

  “Sure, she is,” she nods her head and I motion for her to walk over to the truck sitting in the parking lot. As I walk with Billie to her car she is glaring at me.

  “I don’t need you trying to save me.” She steps into me.

  “I know that.” I tell her, “Look I’m sorry. I just saw that.” I motion down to her arms, “And then he shows up like this.
” I pause and she looks at me confused.

  “What did he mean, you know what he said to you? Did you say something to him?” Her stare is hardened.

  And I run my hands down my face “Shit,” I say as I turn, taking a couple of steps away and then turn back around and look at her. “All honesty, yeah I fucking said something to him.” She stops and her eyes go wide. “Which is why I feel so fucking bad now, I know…” I pause and walk back up to her, and I lower my voice hoping that somehow it can convey the disgust that I feel with myself at this moment, “I know, that it’s me that set him off to do that,” I point to her wrists, “to you. And I’m sorry.” The word sorry barely makes it out of my mouth.

  “That’s not your fault, but did you tell him that I slept with you?” I laugh and look back over at her.

  “No,” but I can see how he could make that connection.

  “So, then what did you say to him? When were you able to say anything to him?” She asks me… looking serious.

  “That’s not important.” I wave it off.

  “Daxton,” The use of my full name, which no one has called me since my mother died, makes my walls start to crumble. “What did you say to him?”

  “He came up to me at the club and-“ she stops me.

  “Wait, he was at your club?” She asks me and I groan. This is why I didn’t want to get into it. “When?”

  “Friday night,” I look at her. “He was there with some girl and then accused me of following him. He tried to threaten me and say that no one would believe me because he was a better person than me.” Her eyes get big