F*CKING Chaos (Midnight Syn MC Book 3) Read online

  Copyright © 2020 N. Tetterton All rights reserved

  Cover Design: N. Tetterton

  Interior Formatting: N. Tetterton

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in brief quotations within reviews and otherwise permitted by copyright law.

  This is a work of fiction.

  Any aspect of this work; names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, life is purely coincidental.

  **Warning**

  This is a work of fiction which is intended only for readers who are 18 years or older. Many situations in this book some may find offensive or disturbing.

  Triggers include: abuse/childhood abuse, crime, violence, murder, explicit sexual situations, explicit language

  PLAYLIST

  Books by N. Tetterton

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  PLAYLIST

  Can be found on my Spotify

  I’m so Humble- The Lonely Island, Adam Levine

  Me & ur ghost- Blackbear

  Down- G-Eazy, Latto

  Good Things Fall Apart- ILLENIUM, Jon Bellion

  I Think I’m OKAY- Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD, Travis Barker

  Let Me Be Sad- I Prevail

  Criminal- Britney Spears

  Bad guy- Billie Eilish, Justin Bieber

  Those Kinda Nights- Eminem, Ed Sheeran

  Circus- Britney Spears

  Low- I Prevail

  Gimme More- Britney Spears

  Ant Up (Robbin Hoodz Theory)- M.O.P.

  Die For Me- Post Malone, Halsey, Future

  Devil in Paradise- Cruel Youth

  Toxic- Britney Spears

  My ex’s best friend- Machine Gun Kelly, blackbear

  I Don’t Belong Here- Dub J, Dutch Revz

  Womanizer- Britney Spears

  Jailbreak- AWOLNATION

  Nightmare- Halsey

  Nothing Good- Goody Grace, G-Eazy, Juicy J

  Betrayed- Remix- outsideOUTSIDE

  F U Till I F U- Call Me Karizma, Cass

  Tongue Tied- Marshmello, YUNGBLUD, blackbear

  I watch as Lucy walks towards me down the aisle. There’s a waterfall behind me. This shit is romantic as fuck. She’s walking to me and my best friends are next to me…

  Fuck, I want to cry. She looks so goddamn gorgeous. Her dark black hair laying in waves down her back as her blue eyes light up when she looks to me. They hold the same look that they had the first day I met her; they hold hope.

  Next thing I know, it’s my time to say my vows.

  “I swear to God,” Lucy starts, “if you start rapping, I’m reconsidering.”

  I fucking love this woman. The crowd that’s watching starts laughing.

  “I never believed in love.” I confess to her. “I never thought that one day I would find someone and then 10 months later I would be marrying that person, but you came in and fuckin’ flipped my whole world upside down.” There are a mixture of gasps and laughs in the audience as I say fuckin’, but it doesn’t matter because my Raven is smiling back to me. “I never know what each day is going to bring, but I know that as long as you're next to me, no matter what life throws at us, we will get through it. I promise that I’ll always be there for you. I’ll always love you and I’ll protect you, no matter the cost.” And I slide the ring on her finger. We told the ministry we didn’t want to say the shit about the rings…

  “Aubrey, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to say fuck in your wedding vows.” She says to me, which makes me laugh before I shrug at her. And there’s once again a mixture of laughter and gasps. “I love you so much, even despite your first name.” I shake my head, smiling the whole time. “You make me better and you make me want to be better. You push me out of my comfort zone in a way that doesn’t feel forceful because I know that no matter what, you will be there to catch me if I fall.” She sighs, “I promise that no matter what, I will always be there, right behind you, holding on, singing Britney Spears with you, and trying desperately not to bust my ass.”

  I can’t help but lean over and kiss her before I pull back and laugh, “I don’t think you’re supposed to say ass in your wedding vows.” I whisper back to her.

  …Everything was so perfect, until it wasn’t…

  6 months later

  “FUCK YOU!” I shout, looking over to him as he glares just as angry as I am.

  “Yeah, right back at ya.” Fury snaps back as he grabs at his bag, slams the door, and storms out of the bedroom. The volume of the front door slamming shut causes me to jump. Then with the sound of the pipes starting on his bike… and his tires peeling out of the driveway… with that, he’s gone. Taking half of my marriage with him.

  And then I’m all alone.

  All by myself.

  I’m not even sure how we got here.

  Everything seemed so perfect.

  Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

  Once I realize what exactly happened, I sit down on the bedroom floor, against the bed. I’m not sure how long I am zoned out before my phone starts ringing. I don’t answer it. I don’t even silence it, I just let it ring. I don’t need to talk to anyone. I just need to look at myself and see who is at fault for it all.

  “LUCY!” I hear Billie, my best friend and technically still my roommate, yell as she storms into the house. There’s only one set of footsteps, so I know Khan, her boyfriend, isn’t with her. Khan also happens to be the president of the MC that Fury is a part of, I say a part of, but he’s actually the sergeant at arms. It just further complicates my life that we are splitting up. Billie shoves my door open, but I don’t look up at her. I just stare off. “Luce, what’s going on?” She asks me, I’m sure just as confused as I am. Hell, just as confused as he is.

  “He’s gone.” I whisper, “Fury left me.” I should be crying, but at this exact moment, I can’t feel anything.

  But I know it’s not as simple as he left me. He’s not the only one to blame. All of this is my fault.

  Maybe we just rushed it.

  Maybe we did jump the gun.

  Maybe we didn’t know each other as well as we thought.

  “I know,” Billie whispers as she sits down next to me on the floor. Of course, she knows. I should have guessed that he would have gone straight over to Khan’s. He is Fury’s best friend, after all.

  Suddenly my wedding band feels heavy on my finger.

  “He’ll come back, Luce,” Billie whispers to me as I lean over, laying my head into her lap.

  “You don’t know that. He was really pissed off this time.” I feel my best friend slowly stroke my hair as she tries to calm me.

  “What happened?” She asks me, still stroking my hair.

  “We’ve been fighting a lot lately,” I tell her.

  “I know, sweetie.” She whispers to me again.

  “I went by Sirens tonight,” Sirens is the strip club that the club owns. “because when he left this evening we had been having a fight. I was yelling at him again because I feel like he treats me like a part of the club. It’s hard feeling like I have a sergeant at arms and not a husband.” I look up at Billie.

  “I can understand that.” She pauses. “And how that would be very frustrating. Does he threaten a lot of people?” She somewhat jokes and it causes me to make me make a noise. It’s a mixture of a laugh and a sob.

  “Yes
, along with researching everyone I come into contact with, including my coworkers. He refuses to let me drive anywhere by myself. Shit, most of the time, he insists that he’s the one to drive me to work. He yelled at one of my coworkers at the dinner that work had a few weeks ago,” she chuckles a little. “It’s not funny. Now he won’t talk to me at all.”

  “I know, it’s not.” She stops giggling. “I’m sorry. So, you guys were fighting before he left.”

  “Yeah, so when I went by Sirens tonight. I walked in and one of the girls was rubbing upon him.” Billie’s face cocks to one side.

  “What?”

  “Yeah, he was smiling at her and she was pressed into his side and was rubbing her hand down his chest.”

  “What did he say when you confronted him?”

  “I didn’t.” Billie glares at me. “I couldn’t. I knew he was pissed off at me and he has been gone a lot. I guess I’ve been insecure...” I trail.

  “Then how did this all blow up?” She asks me.

  “I’m not sure exactly how, but he came home a few minutes after I got home and was all understanding. But then I said something about him giving her the wrong idea, which led to him telling me that…”

  “Tell you what?”

  “That I was a mistake.” I’m not sure if it’s the actual words that he said or the quiet tone that I use which makes Billie gasp.

  “He probably didn’t mean it.” She says it, but her eyes tell me that she doesn’t believe the words that she is saying.

  Pushing the door open to the clubhouse, my bag slung on my shoulder, I don’t stop in the lounge, I just stalk through the kitchen and up the back staircase. Making a beeline to my room. I don’t want to fucking talk to anyone.

  “Fury?” Especially not that voice. Not today, not that fucking voice. I push up the staircase, not wanting to explain to Billie why I’m here, late into the night, with a bag, and without Lucy.

  It only takes a few minutes until there’s a knock on my door. I really don’t want to talk to Billie about it right now. The doorknob tries to turn, but I made sure to lock the door.

  “Goddamnit, Aubrey.” Khan’s voice calls out to me. He only calls me Aubrey when he’s being extremely serious. And I know that he technically can get into the room, that is, if I don’t open the door.

  “What?” I snap at him, pulling the door open.

  “Here or the office?” He asks me with a demeanor that tells me he’s not wavering. Even if I am bigger than him by height and mass, I’m going to have to drop him for him to drop this.

  “Neither,” I tell him, staring him down, letting him know that I’m fucking serious. I’m not having this conversation with him. I try to shut the door, but he pushes into the room. “Fuck.” He holds out a bottle of whiskey. “Okay, the office. Here feels a little… um.”

  “Intimate?” He asks and I laugh, but a sad laugh where only air comes out of your nose.

  “Where’s Billie?” I ask him.

  “Do you have to ask?” he looks at me, handing me a glass filled with brown liquid.

  “Good,” he looks at me, surprised this time. “I don’t mean good because she’s not here or because she went home, but good because Lucy isn’t alone,” I mutter as I take an extra-long sip from the glass. My heart aches at the mention of her name.

  “As much as I love you, brother. Why the fuck are you here?” He asks me.

  “I lef...” I stop because I don’t want to say the words. “We’ve been fighting a lot. She came into Sirens tonight. She saw me talking with Myth and she left. Ash came back and told me, so I left to go after her. When I got home, we got into an even bigger fight. She accused me of cheating on her. I said some things I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to take back.” I don’t look up at him, but just down to the glass.

  “Fury people fight. Why leave?”

  “You didn’t see the look on her face. I broke her Khan. I could see it in her eyes.” I lean my elbows onto my knees as I sit down. “What I said. I’m not sure it’s forgivable.” I down the rest of the liquid in my glass. “Brother, I just want to go to bed. I’m going to go up to the farm in the morning and check on it.” I tell him since I was supposed to have the day off.

  “Aubrey, that’s not a good idea. You should go and talk to your wife tomorrow.” I wave him off.

  “She needs time to be pissed at me. I’ll give her some time and then go and talk with her. I’m going to go to the farm tomorrow. And up to purgatory later this week.” Purgatory is where the drugs that we sell are made. MDMA, Dyno, and V are our chemists and know what the fuck they are doing. I’m not even sure how they do it, nor will I ever ask him. The club converted an old mine shaft into a lab over a decade ago. It was Khan’s first project after he joined the MC. It was his brainchild. They reinforced the walls, made it so it wouldn’t collapse on us, and since then we have continued to expand it. There’s a handful of rooms, almost as a bunker, the lab, an armory, and a vault. Yes, as in a vault where we store our money. When you approach the mountain, you would never know what it was no matter which angle you come up in, unless you know what you’re looking for.

  Khan may be the Prez, but he’s also been my best friend since I stitched his face up after he took a pair of brass knuckles to the face. I mean, it was the least that I could do… he had, in fact, taken them because he came outside after he saw a skinny, unaware kid being hassled by a group of bikers. I was sad, scared, unsure of where to turn with my life, so I bought a bike and left the East Coast in the process, flushing any chance at what I had been planning for the rest of my life right down the drain. Entering my last year of medical school, I had been at the top of my class at that, then I got the news that my family had been killed in a car accident after visiting with me at school. It only took me a few weeks before I was out of the state, hell out of the time zone. I couldn’t be there anymore, maybe it had something to do with realizing that I could spend a huge chunk of my time in school, sure I only had one more year of med school, but then I had a residency, and then a fellowship… I was looking at another 6 years minimum of school. The day that the life insurance money hit my account, I went and bought a bike. I had always wanted one, learned how to ride on a friend of mine, but my mother always told me that I would end up killing myself on it… that may be kind of ironic now. And I rode west, when I got into South Dakota, I remembered hearing about Sturgis and decided to drive through… little did I know that it was in the middle of bike week, and little did I know how rough that a bike week got at night. When the six men surrounded me, I should have been scared, but I wasn’t. I no longer had a fear of dying. Why would I? I had only just lost everything in one minute. So, I built myself another life. When Khan asked me if I wanted to prospect later that week after we had gotten to know each other, gotten piss drunk where I told him what happened, I may have even cried a little, but Khan never judged me for it. He understood, and I found a friend. We bonded over the one thing that we both understood. We were both orphans. Only both of his parents died before he even turned 16, which is how he became only be a year younger than I was, and had been a part of the club for so much longer. I was hesitant at first because of the whole 1% thing, everyone had heard what that is, but Khan assured me that it wasn’t usually as scary as movies made it out to be. At least, they weren’t… anymore. That week, I found a new family, and I slowly started to put myself back together.

  When I saw Lucy for the first time, it was like all the pieces in my life were in place. I was finally whole again. And now what had I done? Somehow, life backfired and blew a giant fucking hole through me again.

  …When I win, my cock will meet your mouth…

  “Lucy,” I hear Billie shout into the phone. “I need you to pack a bag and come with us.” I’m confused by her sentence.

  “What?”

  “It’s Brad. He’s lost it. Look, we’re heading to come and get you now. We will be there in 10 minutes.”

  I’ve
known Billie for so long that I don’t remember a time in my life where she wasn’t a part of it. My parents all but adopted her, since her mother was in and out of the picture so frequently. So, it’s really more like we’re sisters than just best friends. I was so happy when Billie left Brad. When she was finally able to see him for who he really was. I’m sure after she met Dax, it seemed easier. I could tell instantly that she wanted him. Not because he was hot, but it was just something about the way that her face would light up when she was talking about him, even after the first time that they met. She was somehow already falling in love with him, even if she was doing her best to fight it off.

  I hear two motorcycles approach the house and automatically assume that it’s Billie. After Dax came over last night she was in a daze all day.

  When she told me she wasn’t going to sleep with him until after the divorce was final, I thought I was going to choke her. She needs a good dicking. Maybe she can be choked by a good dicking… two birds, one dick?

  After Dax convinces me that I need to go with them and that Billie is in trouble, and insinuates that Brad will come after me to get to Billie. That asshole, I know he will. Dax turns around and walks into Billie’s room and then as I reach for my bag, I am startled as a man who takes up my entire doorway stands, staring at me. As he stares down at me, I can’t help but lick my lips because holy hell, he radiates masculinity. It’s kind of ironic that he’s so intimidating and scary looking, almost, yet his blonde hair is cut short and his eyes are a steel color. If it wasn’t for his large size and his tattoos that trail down his arms, he would be considered a pretty boy. It’s like one of those bobbleheads… where the head doesn’t quite match the body, but somehow he makes it work. And it definitely works on me.

  “Lucy, I presume?”

  “Yeah,” my mouth trips over the word as it comes out, which makes one side of his mouth curl upwards.